His side
They sat across from one another in an awkward silence, each one glancing from their own glass, then tenatively to one another and then back down again. Tom was doing his best to pour on the charm, as this was his first date in six months. Per his friend Harry’s advice, he sported his black oversized took, his red and green flannel shirt, and of course his false hipster black horn-rimmed glasses. How could any girl worth her salt not go for the look. He cleared his throat, before he spoke haltingly to her, “So, you’re friends with Amy, Harry’s girlfriend?” “She looked up for a split second, and muttered, “yeah.” but didn’t offer up any other conversation. He glanced at her attire. Yeah, she had the flannel, and yeah, she was sporting the same black horn-rimmed glasses. This was awesome. They both seemed to be the silent types. This was chemistry he thought, not for the first time. Now all he had to do was to figure out something to talk about. “So, Christy… Do… you… like, um…” He was struggling desperately for something to say. He looked around, desperately seeking inspiration, before it struck him. “Monster trucks,” he blurted out. She gave him a brief look of disbelief. Having no social skills what-so-ever, he mis-read this as a good sign. “Um.. can’t say I’ve ever seriously considered this. With that, she said, “Can you excuse me, I really need to go to the restroom.” He smiled and gestured for her to do as she needed. Man, this is going better than I could ever have dreamed he thought to himself. Bet she’ll be into the fun stuff before too long, just got to keep cranking up the charm he thought. Little did he know that as he was sitting there contemplating what might happen, Christy was just getting into her Uber ride that had just pulled up.
Her Side
Christy gave a deep, but inaudible sigh, as she tried not to look her blind date in the eyes. God this guy was really trying to fit in. At first, she had thought he was mocking her, what with his attire, Jesus Christ, those aren’t even PRESCRIPTION glasses she thought. Where the hell does this guy get off she thought to herself. Is that broccoli in his teeth? I’m sooooo going to kill Amy the next time I see her. This is ALL HER FAULT! “So, you’re friends with Amy, Harry’s girlfriend?” He’d asked. Well DUH, IDIOT! That’s who set me up on this ridiculous stunt. What in THE HELL did I do to her? “Yeah.” was all she could stammer out. Bet this guy hasn’t had a date in like a year… if EVER she thought. This brought a slight smile to the corners of her mouth. OH NO, he’s mis-read that smile… DAMNIT! “…Like… Monster Trucks?” You have GOT to be kidding me. Her look of sheer disbelief must not have looked as damning as she thought, because he smiled, Clearly misreading the situation. That’s it, I’ve GOT to get out of here. Amy’s SO going to get a piece of my mind later on about this. “Can you excuse me, I really need to go to the bathroom,” she said. She didn’t even wait for an answer, and was already getting up from the booth as he made a quasi grandeous gesture with his hands. What in the hell does THAT mean she thought momentarily as she hurried to get away from that creep, and the situation in general. As she walked out, she had her phone in hand, madly trying to bring up the Uber app. Confirming her ride was only a couple of minutes away, she smiled to herself, as she dialed Amy. “….Hey, you’ve reached Amy. Can’t talk right now, so sing your song at the beep!” “Amy, you BITCH!!!! What in THE HELL did I ever do to YOU to get set up with this JOKE of an idiot. Don’t bother calling me back, and do not, I repeat, DO NOT give my number to this ass clown!” With that, she hung up and stepped into the back of the car. “Hi, 10th and Broadway please,” she said to the driver as she closed the door and the car sped off.
HA! Funny. I enjoyed it.